I was born a refugee. My parents left Rwanda in 1959, though some of my family later returned. But I have lived in the UK since 1986, when I met my husband Richard.
My family are Tutsis, on of Rwanda's two main tribes. In April 1994, the government called on the other tribe, the Hutus, to wipe out the Tutsis.
As a result, more than one million people died. As soon as I heard about the genocide, I knew
I had to help. I flew to Rwanda three months after massacre began. There were so many orphans, they were clinging on to me, begging me to take them.
Richard and I adopted a baby girl who had been rescued from a pile of dead bodies. Christine, who's now 10, is very bright and caring. She represents the good that came out of such a terrible tragedy.
My own family didn't survive. Two weeks before he genocide, I called my younger brother John, concerned about his safety. He said there was nothing to worry about.
Months later, I discovered he'd been murdered just two weeks after
the killings began. He was 27. My cousins, grandparents, aunts and
uncles, nephews and nieces shared his fate.
Three weeks into the genocide, the militia came for them. They were taken to the local school
With the rest of Tutsi families where they were attacked with machetes and thrown into a shallow pit.
My12-year niece crawled out of the grave and ran to a neighbor's house for help.
They took her in, but the men raped her over and over again. Eventually
she was rescued by the Rwandan Patriotic Front. She is 23 now and still
lives in Rwanda. She's a nurse, dedicating her life to looking after
other survivors but she will never marry.
When I first went back to Rwanda the whole place still stank of
death. Nearly all the women had been raped - it's now believed that 67
per cent of them are HIV positive. I spent
Eight months there after the genocide working on a register of the dead and talking to survivors.
But when I returned to the UK, I couldn't forget about them. I had to
make sure their voices were heard, that the victims were not forgotten.
I decided to take testimonies from as many Survivors as I could. In 1997, I set up my charity SURF, to help survivors rebuild their lives. It funds a number of projects, including campaigns for anti-retroviral drugs to be made available to women survivors.
For the survivors every day is a struggle. Many of the killers are still walking around in the same villages as their victims. Imagine what it feels like to see your whole family's killer celebrating the happy marriage of his own daughter?
I try to give people hope. Ten years ago, the women I met there didn't want to live. Now they have self-worth. But there's still so much more to achieve.
SURF iz asking supporters from around the world to give £5, €7.50 or $10 to help SURF support an HIV+ survivor with antiretroviral treatment. Click HERE to Help!
For more about SURF, call 020 7610 2589 or visit www.survivors-fund.org.uk.









Hi Mary K.
You trully are a rare jewel! You have made a difference in the lives of many. I commend you for taking action on behalf of the helpless of Rawanda. I just finished reading "Left to Tell" by Immaculee Ilibagzia and now reading your post regarding having to live in the same village with those who tried to murder you is mindblowing. I find it a testament to human kindness that the Tutsi has not tried to do the Hutu what the Hutu did to them. The Tutsi are a magnificent people. Many blessings and thanks for sharing.
Ezrina
Posted by: Ezrina | January 08, 2008 at 12:15 PM
Mary what can I say? I wish you continued strength as you go on your life's journey.
Love and blessings
Anne
Posted by: Anne | May 17, 2006 at 02:33 PM
Mary, you are living a life worth remembering - bless you.
Posted by: Moonchild Diva | April 20, 2006 at 07:14 AM
Your work both humbles me and at the same time is inspirational. It is a reminder of what is truly important and that in the midst of isane carnage there is love, compassion and right action. Peace, Liaya
Posted by: Liaya Aneb Nua | April 19, 2006 at 03:59 PM
nothing is impossible when you dare to love.
Peace
nejh
Posted by: nejh | October 01, 2005 at 10:52 PM
Mary, you have really lived, definitely a life that sounds like a Puliter Prize winning novel! Sending you love and prayers, you are beautiful, inside and out!
Posted by: Moonchildiva | April 06, 2005 at 12:24 PM